


I can get it back

by cookie_club



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Closeted Character, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Omega Keith (Voltron), Omega Shiro (Voltron), Omega pretending to be an alpha, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Slow Burn, This is NOT PWP, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-02-02 18:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12732300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookie_club/pseuds/cookie_club
Summary: Shiro was absolutely mesmerized by the rising star Keith Kogane. Not only was he beating all of his records but Keith is an omega.All his life Shiro was told that his chances in life would be limited as an omega, but here Keith was proving everyone wrong.He just had to meet this Keith Kogane.





	1. Chapter 1

Shiro was in awe. Cadet Keith Kogane had beaten his old score in the flight simulator. He was the new flight prodigy of the Garrison. And he was an omega. Shiro needed to meet this cadet.

“So you want to take this cadet under your wing?” Iverson looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes. If I help him, he could cut his cadet time short.” Shiro was standing upright like one would expect of the golden boy.

“Son, I need to ask this. Do you plan something with Cadet Kogane?”

“Pardon, Sir?”

“I mean, do you want to sabotage him? If he cuts his cadet time short there is a very good chance he would end up as the same officer rank as you. That would put your status at risk. So I ask again. Do you plan something with Cadet Kogane?”

“No, I don’t.” Iverson looked him in the eyes for a while longer before leaning back into his chair. 

“Fine. I’ll grant you a trial period. If the cadet wants to take this offer you won't have any restrictions. Should he, under your care, show any sign of worsening I will separate you two. Understood?”

“Understood.” He was dismissed with a wave of a hand.

 

 

 

About a week had passed, and Shiro still hadn't heard if his proposal was accepted. He refreshed his emails again.

“Would you stop?!” Matt was sitting with him in the cafeteria. “I know you want to tutor that cadet, but this is almost like an obsession. What gives?”

“It's just… He is the first omega to rank this high and I really want to see what he's made of, that’s all.” Matt didn't seem to buy the story but he only hacked further in his spaghetti. 

“You do know there is no shame in just walking up to the cadet and start talking.”

“I can't just walk over to a cadet and strike up a conversation.”

“But private lessons? Got it. So you can't walk over to the cadet walking through that door and simply say hi.” Matt pointed to the entrance of the cafeteria with his fork and Shiro followed with his eyes. And lo and behold, cadet Kogane walked in, seemingly looking for someone. His eyes stopped wandering and he started to walk a straight line to where he wanted to go. That straight line seemed to be leading to Shiro. 

“Are you private Shirogane?” Shiro nodded, not exactly sure what to expect. “Iverson said you wanted to give me private lessons to cut down my cadet time.” 

“Yes…?” Shiro hadn't ever spoken to him before, but he was a bit taken back by the direct and confrontational approach. Keith looked him in the eyes, searching for something. It was an intense gaze; one Shiro had often seen in alphas. It was the kind of gaze that would usually make an omega submit - but he had trained that reaction out of himself so completely, that not even the most assertive alpha could get him to submit easily now. Whatever Keith was looking for, he seemed to have found it. 

“I am free this afternoon for a test lesson, if you want.” Shiro’s mouth hung open. If he was honest with himself, he had expected a rejection. 

“Ehm yeah, this afternoon I should be free after five.” Oh god, why was he stammering? 

Keith smiled at him. 

“Good. See you at 5:30 then?” 

“Definitely!” And the cadet left.

“Oh my god… you act like a teen omega with the biggest crush on some super popular alpha.” Matt had watched the entire exchange with a gaping mouth. 

“I do not!”

“If you say so.”

 

 

 

Five thirty couldn’t have come soon enough. He wanted to see Keith in action; he wanted to talk to him; and most of all, he wanted to get to know him. It scared him a little, just how utterly desperate he was to get to know the cadet, but here he was, impatiently waiting for Keith to show up. Finally he saw the omega turn around the corner.

“Hey,” Keith greeted.

“Good afternoon.”

“So you want to do a test simulation, or do you want to discuss something first?”

“We will start with a test simulation.”

Keith nodded and walked over to an unoccupied simulator. Shiro followed him and they got in together, Keith as the pilot and Shiro as the observer. 

“What route?”

“Which is the last one you did in class?”

“The cargo run to the international space station.”

“Hmmm, okay. Then let us see how you’ll do with the moon station.”

Keith looked at him, shocked.

“We haven't had that in class yet!”

“If you really are as good as your test scores say you, you will manage just fine. Believe me when I say that moon landing only sounds difficult.”

Keith looked at him skeptically.

“This is not going on my log.”

“Fair enough.”

And so the simulation started. Takeoff was smooth and the journey to the moon station was uneventful. Keith was calm throughout the entire simulation - that is, until he reached the moon’s orbit, and needed to land. Shiro saw Keith’s hands, clenched around the steering wheel tight enough to turn his knuckles white. 

“Like I said, this is not that difficult. And since this is a one way simulation, you don't even have to re-enter Earth's atmosphere.” Keith hesitated for a moment, stealing a glance at Shiro, before returning to the task at hand. Shiro wondered if he may have said too much.

Unlike takeoff, the landing wasn’t as smooth, Shiro even knocked his head against the wall from the turbulence, but in the end, Keith managed it, and they landed on the moon, with no casualties, no damage to the ship, and docked properly at the station.

“Holy shit, I can't believe I just winged a moon landing!”

Shiro laughed. “I gave you too big a hint!” 

“Well yeah, of course the moon landing would be easier than re-entering the Earth’s atmosphere! If you wanted to see me fail, then you kind of blew it.”

“I didn't want to see you fail, but look at your test score.” He saw Keith's jaw drop. From the maximum possible score of one hundred, he had achieved ninety five percent.

“How…? What? Why?! My landing was horrible! Takeoff and landing are the times you gain or lose the most points! How the hell did I manage a near perfect score?!”  
So Keith wasn't aware of it.

“When the score in a simulation is calculated, a predicted result is calculated first, based on your previous results and scores. You never did a moon landing before, and during your first attempt you did not die, crash, or inflict any damage to the ship. That’s a pretty big deal. The simulation would give you quite a few extra points.”

Keith’s mouth was still open in shock. He seemed unsure of what to say.. “It’s not public knowledge, and the garrison uses it as a talent finder.”

“How did you find out?”

“Promise not to laugh?”

“I won't - well, if it isn't something stupid.”

“Well, I accidentally selected the wrong mission. Went three courses above of what I should have, and my pride didn't allow me to abort. I somehow powered through.”

Keith smiled at him “Okay, well, I was expecting a drunk story for some reason, but I guess that’s reasonable enough. What could I have done better?”

“Better?”

“Yeah, you offered to teach me to learn faster, get better, that thing. Unless this is supposed to be some elaborate pick up scheme, then thanks, but no.”

Shiro was surprised by how brash Keith was about just saying what he wanted, when he wanted it. He wondered if Keith was considered undesirable as an omega because of this, but then again - he had heard many alphas talk about how they wanted an omega that stood their ground. 

“Yes, of course! So about your landing - obviously, you did not know that you did not need as much reverse thrust when landing on the moon, as opposed to landing on the Earth - since the gravity is weaker, keeping the thrust the same would mean you are pushing off the ground to hard, so when you tried to correct that, you should not have...” He was rambling, he needed to take a breath, and calm down.

Shiro had never encountered someone like Keith before-, then again, he had never casually talked with other omegas. He’d tried to maintain the appearance of a career-oriented alpha.   
Once Shiro got through the explanation of how the flight could have been done better, they redid the mission. Keith's landing had improved a lot, just by listening to Shiro's advice.   
After they left the simulation room Keith had agreed to another study session. Shiro was glad that he did. After all, he really did want to know more about Keith, and one simulation was nowhere near enough.

One study session turned into two then into three and eventually became a weekly activity – some rather theory heavy, and some were extra hours in the simulator. 

Sometimes they had nothing to do, and they would spend their time talking to each other. Today was one of those days.

“I heard that you beat up Azu,” Shiro said. He was bemused by that. Azu was an alpha that was a year below him and a real asshole. He was the kind of alpha that would go around parading his alphaness and think of beta and omega as lesser.

“He so had it coming. Not even the teachers like him. You know what Iverson said to me? ‘Well, I’m giving you a punishment only because I have to.’ Freaking Iverson was done with Azu’s BS.”

That, Shiro did not expect, but it gave him a good laugh. For Iverson to be so done with a student that he didn't even care was truly hilarious.

“Yeah, but now you are blocked from simulations for the next two weeks.”

“It’s not like I need it. There are even rumors about me that they may cut my student time short.”

“Hey, that's great. Then you’ll be my partner and I won't be the only miracle student around! How well did you beat Azu up?”

A wide grin spread on Keith’s face. “Pretty good. A blue eye, bloody nose, knocked him out cold. He didn't even land a punch on me.”

“Serves him right.” His dislike for Azu was extreme. The things he said in the privacy about omegas were absolutely disgusting. Luckily for Shiro no one knew that he was an omega pretending to be an alpha; it gave him an unique insight to many alphas’ headspaces.

“I didn't take you for the sadistic kind. You actually enjoy that I beat him up. I would have thought you would tell me how horrible that was of me.”

“I would under normal circumstances but Azu had it coming. He has said some things that make this a perfect irony.”

Keith eyes narrow. “So he is that kind of alpha.”

“M-hm,” Shiro hummed. 

“Then I feel even better about beating him up.” Keith got up from his seat and started packing his bag. “I have to go to the cafeteria and help clean up for today.”

“I’ll walk with you. My dorm is that way anyway.”

They walked out of the break room they were in and went down the hallway. It was close to curfew so the lights were dim and no one was out.

“Kogane!”

They both turned around and saw Azu storming towards them. He stopped directly in front of Keith and loom over him, looking as broad and intimidating as possible. Keith didn't flinch and met Azu every step of the way. The alpha growled when the omega in front of him didn’t back down.

“You know you are going to die alone. No alpha will want an omega like you.”

“Do I look like I give a shit about what you or any other alpha think. I’m here to go to space, not to find a mate.” 

“You fucking Breeder, how dare you talk to me like that?” 

Keith wasn't backing down. There was no scent of fear or submission in the air, but Azu was aggressive and when he couldn't smell Keith's submission, his aggression skyrocketed.

Shiro stepped between them. It disrupted the tension between Keith and Azu completely, but now the aggression was directed at Shiro.

“Move Shirogane.”

He didn't. Shiros mouth went dry. This was a completely different situation. This alpha was ready for a brawl. He had never encountered this before. He had been challenged to dominance fights and had won them, but Azu was ready to get physical and it made Shiro nervous. He could deal with Azu, he knew that he was physically capable of that – it was his mind that was going into alarm mode right now. Shiro got a whiff of his own scent and instantly panicked. He smelled like a distressed omega!

He was pushed back and before he realized what was going on he felt two arms curling around his waist and Keith pressed up to him. A stronger wave of a nervous omega scent made its way into his nose. This was the tell tale sign of a omega protecting their mate. No self respecting alpha would attack an alpha that is being shielded by their mate. Azu backed down.

“Not looking for a mate, huh? Well looks like your gold digging was successful.” He looked at Shiro with a judgmental gaze and then just walked away.

Before Shiro could say anything Keith grabbed his hand and dragged him to the nearest bathroom.

“What are you doing?” Shiro finally managed to ask.

Keith was checking all the bathrooms stalls and when he didn't find anyone he walked up to Shiro and pulled him down. Shiro yelped and then felt Keith's neck rubbing against his own- he was scent marking him.

Keith released him and Shiro looked down at him, completely bewildered.

“If you are going to pretend to be an Alpha then at least make sure that your omega scent doesn't make it through.”

Shiro froze. He had hoped that his scent hadn't made it past his personal bubble. He looked away and started to massage his neck, the area Keith had just scent marked.

“You noticed.”

“Yeah, but I knew before.”

Shiros head snapped back up. Keith knew before? How? He was so careful! He put on special alpha perfume and took pills that would stop most of the more omega typical bodily functions like heats. His expression must have said it all because Keith explained.

“You smell like an alpha, but your scent does not change with your emotions. Most people don't notice it, except for the big mood changes, but little ones do it too.”

That made so much sense and Shiro wondered how he never knew about it before. 

“Then why did you just scent mark me?”

“If you meet Azu again he'll smell me instead of you. You need to refresh your perfume, don't you?”

Keith was right. It was late in the day but it had never been a problem before, because he usually wasn't out this late.

A wave of shame overcame him. Here Keith was facing all these hardships on his own, challenging the system as an omega and he was pretending to be an alpha. How disgraceful.

“Hey,” Keith took his hand and held it, his expression looked concerned, “You okay?”

Shiro couldn't help but laugh. “You were the one being threatened by an alpha and you ask me if I am okay?”

“I’m asking because you smelled miserable just now.” He said it so… so full of concern.

“How long have you been pretending?” 

“Since high school,” Shiro whispered. Hearing it out loud, it became so clear how wrong it was. 

“But you have been taking care of yourself.” It sounded like Keith was trying to find something, anything, good about Shiro's situation. His silence was enough of an answer. 

Shiro turned around.

“Maybe it's better that we don't see each other for a while,” he said and then walked out of the restroom.

“If you ever need someone, you can come to me!” Keith shouted after him.

 

 

 

It had been weeks since Keith last saw Shiro. Azu was punished for threatening Keith that night and Shiro's omega status was never revealed. It worried Keith. It wasn’t easy for omegas out in the world. It’s getting better and better each year but there were so many hindrances for them. Keith had decided to not let anything stop him and be proud of who he was – that included being an omega and everything that came with it. Omegas pretending to be Alphas was nothing new, but it came at a price. Denying your very nature was not only bad for the person's mental health, it could even have lasting negative effect on one’s body. Shiro had been hiding since high school, the damage he had done to his body must have been immense. Keith shuddered at the mere thought. 

It was the end of the semester – so many students and teachers were getting ready to leave the Garrison for a while. Since Keith had no one to go back to, he decided to stay in the dorms. It would be nice when no one was going to be around to disturb him. By the end of today everyone would be gone.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Assuming it was some app that wanted his attention, he got his phone out - but froze when he saw what it actually was. Shiro had texted him.

Do you want to meet up?

He only hesitated for a moment before typing back. 

Sure. When?

He waited and watched the three little dots blinking in and out of existence, an indication that Shiro was typing.

This evening.

Everyone would be gone by then, was Shiro also staying? He replied and asked for a location, but after waiting and still receiving no reply he put his phone back. His roommate had already left so it was just him. He leaned back and enjoyed the silence of his room. It was noon so he would be making his way to the cafeteria soon.

 

 

 

 

Evening came. Shiro had never texted him back and Keith was currently in his room. He wondered what was going on with Shiro, he had broken off the contact quite abruptly - and then, had reinitiated it just as suddenly. 

A knock came from the door. Keith got up and opened the door. Then Shiro was standing in front of him.

“Hey.” He had bags under his eyes.

“Hey.” Keith moved aside and let Shiro in. When Shiro walked past him he actually smelled like an omega. Shiro immediately made his way to his roommate's bed on the other side of the room and sat down.

“I’m guessing you are here to talk.”

Shiro nodded. He was leaning over, resting his arms on his knees and rubbing his hands nervously together, his head hanging low.

“I don't know who else to turn to.”

“It's okay. You can talk.”

“I don't know where to start. I guess the last time we saw each other would be good.” 

Keith didn't say anything, just sat down on his bed. 

“After you told me you knew, I panicked. I wasn't ready for anyone to know who I really am.” Keith waited for Shiro to continue, he wasn't going to push.

“The reason why I was interested in you, is that you were so successful. You were accomplishing that what I was told I could never accomplish if I were an omega. And for a while that was true. I never took steroids, I've always been tall and broadly build, that was one of the reasons why everyone just assumed I was going to be an alpha. When I presented as an omega, everything changed. People started to treat me differently. I did martial arts at the time and my sensei asked if I would rather be in the omega group than the alpha group. I didn't understand why but I agreed because it seemed normal. Once I was there I was so unhappy, everything was gentler, slower. I didn't like it at all. When it was time to choose a high school, my parents were advised against sending me to a prestigious school because those were expensive, and would they really want to spent all that money on a child that would end up becoming a housemate? That's when they decided that at least for high school I should pretend to be an alpha.”

“That was while you were still living in Japan right?”

Shiro nodded. Japan and the entire eastern Asian cultures had a bad reputation when it came to omegas. Many still saw them as simple housemates that would rear children. There had been scandals where corporations in these countries actively avoided hiring omegas because they would soon take time off for their family and no one wanted that liability.

“Here in the US it's better, much better. The Garrison doesn't have any high ranking omegas at the moment , but that is because not enough time has passed to let an omega climb the ranks.”

“Then why did you pretend to be an alpha here at the Garrison?”

“In the beginning my paranoia made me keep my facade up and then it became so normal to pretend, that I forgot I could be simply me.” Shiro looked up for the first time to see Keith's expression. He looked concerned.

“I have to ask. Did you take care of yourself?” 

Shiro seemed to be thinking for a short while and then shrugged one shoulder. “When I’m home with my parents, I do. Which is once a year.”

Keith looked like he had been slapped. “That is not healthy.”

“Do you have someone?” Shiro’s voice was cracking up slightly.

“Not at the moment.” He knew exactly to what Shiro was referring to. Any unmated omega had a platonic partner that would share intimacy with them, sometimes even after one of the omegas found a mate. The orphanage Keith came from only had two omegas, him and a girl. They didn't dislike each other but also didn't like each other per se, but their bond was necessary to not become completely miserable.

“Do you want to try?” Keith asked. “Being partners?” 

Shiro looked shocked, apparently he hadn’t expected for Keith to ask. Slowly, he nodded.

Keith got up and walked to his wardrobe. From the highest shelf he pulled down a bag and unzipped it. He pulled one blanket after another out of the bag and threw them onto his bed.

“Have you been making nests?” Keith asked. Shiro shook his head. Keith didn't say anything, his expression unchanged. He only nodded and began building a nest. Shiro watched how Keith sorted everything out on his bed – he was being systematic about it. 

When Keith was done, he turned over to Shiro, waiting for him, but also giving him an out. Shiro was grateful because as much as he was tired to live as an alpha, he was nervous to embrace his omega side. Slowly he walked over to Keith and held out his hand. Keith took it and slowly led him to the nest. Shiro looked eager for some intimacy, but scared at the same time.

“Should I take my jacket off?”

“You want to?”

“No.”

“Then you don't have to.”

Shiro visibly relaxed and let Keith lead him. They laid down on the bed. Keith rearranged the nest a bit before laying down and wrapping himself around Shiro. He could feel Keith's body heat slowly seeping through the clothes, he could hear Keith breathe, and feel how Keith's chest moved against his back while adjusting to their position. Shiro closed his eyes and just let himself be. 

“How do you do it?” Shiro whispered.

“How do I do what?” Keith asked.

“Embracing being an omega, but not being omega-like.”

“I am omega-like.”

Shiro turned around so he could see Keith's face. He wasn't joking. They moved around in the nest and got comfortable in the new position, looking each other in the eyes. 

“You beat up an alpha, that is not omega-like.”

Keith smiled. “Yeah? But I crave intimacy, I like to be held and doted on. I don't like shouting nor do I like competitive personalities. Doesn't that sound like an omega to you?”

“It does, but...” But what? Keith was right and being an omega didn't mean you were automatically a damsel in distress that was waiting for the prince alpha in a shining armour to swoop you up. And yet, all his life he was told that it’s how things were. Omegas stay home, they don't go to the Garrison and become star students, they don't travel to the stars. But here they were.

“Thank you.”

Keith smiled and started to caress his cheek and worked his way to his hairline. It was such a soft and small gesture but Shiro just melted beneath it. He suspected that Keith somehow knew that this was exactly what he needed. 

Maybe, the semester break could be some sort of trial phase. Him trying to reconnect with his omega side. He was sure that if he asked, Keith would happily guide him.

Soon, between the warmth of the nest and Keith's gentle strokes, Shiro had fallen asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to DZ for helping me trying to make this somewhat grounded in reality~
> 
> Standard disclaimer that I did not study medicine, but I tried my best to make this as realistic as possible.

Shiro curled up even tighter. He felt miserable. Warm hands touched his forehead. He cracked an eye open and was met with Keith’s concerned expression.

“You really should go to the doctor.” 

Three days ago Shiro had fallen sick and for three days Keith had been with him, nursing him.

“I’m sorry.” His voice cracked slightly; he had just woken up from a nap. Or he had tried to nap, at least.

Keith let out a loud sigh and sat down next to Shiro on the bed. “Don’t be. Just go to the doctor.”

Shiro nodded and tried to reach for his phone on his nightstand. Keith grabbed it for him and held it out for Shiro. “Do you want me to call?” Keith asked.

Shiro shook his head again. “Just-” He lifted both of his hands up to his face and rubbed it, as if trying to wash the drowsiness away.

“I’ll do it.” He still didn’t sound well. Shiro started to scroll through all the Garrison related phone numbers and selected the one he needed.

He held the phone to his ear and waited. He sighed when he heard the automatic call system answer. He listened to the instructions and pressed the number he needed. After about two minutes he hung up.

“Nobody answered?”

“Apparently the Garrison’s regular doctor is out so the town’s doctor is coming. My room number was asked so I’m getting a house visit.”

“That's good. How long?”

“Apparently maximum of two hours wait.”

Keith frowned. “So what are we going to do with that time?”

In the end Shiro was too miserable to do anything and they just ended up waiting curled up together. Finally, after an hour had passed, Shiro got a call from the front gate, saying that the doctor had arrived. 

“Keith… I -I don’t know how to ask but, uh...”

“You want me to get the perfume?”

Shiro looked ashamed but nodded.

“Its okay,” Keith said, before getting up and walking to the bathroom. He came back with a small spray bottle, simple design; it almost looked medical.

Shiro lifted the blanket, exposing his neck. Keith walked over to him and sprayed a small amount onto his neck.

“Is this really going to help? You don't exactly smell sick with this stuff on.”

Shiro merely shrugged. “I had no one ever question it. I think your nose is too good.” 

That may very well be true, Keith thought. From a young age he had trained himself to smell the slightest changes in a person but in the movies, that he saw when he was a child, the parent always needed to bury their nose in the nook of the child’s neck to smell sickness. 

Keith put the bottle back. After that they didn't have to wait for long before they heard a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Shiro rasped.

The door slid open and a short man with tousled hair stood in front of the door, a Garrison escort behind him. 

“I would wish a good day, but I think either of you have had a good day,” the doctor said. 

Keith wasn't sure if that was an attempt at humor.

The doctor stepped in. “I’m Dr. Enrique Calvo and I take that you are my patient.” He looked at Shiro who only gave him a deadpanned look. Dr. Calvo pulled a chair from beside Shiro’s desk and sat down. He got a tablet out of his bag and looked at Shiro then at Keith. “I think it would be best to do this in private.” 

Keith looked over to Shiro who nodded, signaling that it was okay for Keith to leave them. 

When they were alone, Dr. Calvo tapped his tablet and then looked up.

“Your student file says your name is Takashi Shirogane.”

“That's correct.”

“Quite the impressive record you have here. So, Mr. Shirogane, what are your symptoms?”

“I’m constantly tired, I shake all the time and my body aches.”

Dr. Calvo wrote everything down. “No congestion? Or fever?”

Shiro shook his head. A frown formed on Dr. Calvo’s face. He tapped some things on his tablet before he sighed and looked over to Shiro with and expression of disdain. 

“I have to ask this and this falls under patient confidentiality, but are you taking any concentration enhancements, like ritanel?”

Shiro was shocked for a moment. “No, I’m not.” He didn’t understand why he asked this.

“Mr. Shirogane, like I said before, this will be off record; if you are taking any medication I need to know. If you are then I am under legal obligations to inform the Garrison about possible drug misuse.”

What? He knew about the drug misuse law, it was there to prevent prescription drug abuse at school and work. Garrison would have to vet everyone. But why was he being asked if he was misusing?

“I am not misusing any drugs.” It was a weak protest. It seemed that Dr. Calvo thought the same. He took his glasses off and laid them down on the table, then massaged his eyes with his index finger and thumb.

“Mr. Shirogane. Your symptoms point to misuse of prescription drug. You are an excellent student from what I can tell about your record, but if you are using enhancements I need to know.‘

He wasn't using any enhancements.. 

But he had been using other meds. His mind pondered.

Was it possible that he was dependent on one of his medicines? But then he would need to reveal his… situation.

Dr. Calvos expresion looked calm. Shiro’s sudden silence may have given the wrong impression.  
If he truly was in some kind of withdraw, he needed to know which of his medicines caused it but did he really want to reveal himself, that he was an omega, to a complete stranger? He had had already hard enough time opening up to Keith.

“You said that everything will fall under patient confidentiality, correct?” 

The expression on Dr. Calvo softened, as if grateful that Shiro was being honest with him.

Well, he would be surprised.

“I- I am not sure how to say this, I am not taking any enhancements, but other medications.”

“What other medications?” he seemed concerned at Shiro’s vague statement. When Shiro didn’t answer immediately, he pressed, “What other medications, Mr. Shirogane?” 

He took a deep breath. “To supress my omega nature.”

Silence fell between them.

Shiro could hear the blood rushing in his ears, felt his entire body heat up.

“Where is this medicine now?” Dr. Calvo asked calmly. Shiro looked up and saw a deeply concerned face. 

He looked back down.

“In my bathroom, in the mirror cupboard.”

Shiro head the chair draw back and footsteps leading to the bathroom. The door closed automatically behind the doctor though Shiro faintly heard how his medicine cupboard was emptied. The door opened again and then saw how all of his medicine was placed on his desk one by one.

“Have you been taking all of them?”

“No.”

“Which have you been taking?”

Shiro looked up and again he was surprised at the concerned look the doctor gave him. He told the doctor which of the medicine he had been taking regularly and which occasionally.

“You have been taking heat blockers, that explains your symptoms.”

“How?”

“Having heat is healthy for an omega. In the past, omegas who used heat blockers would develop severe cases of depression. If heat suppressors are prescribed they are prescribed with anti-depression medication.”

Oh. So he had basically been taking xanax unknowingly and now he was on withdrawal. Great, the first negative after effects were showing themselves.

 

"Some of these have been outlawed in the US."

Those had never taken those for very long, even his doctor back in Japan had warned him about them. They did something to him that he didn't like. He had been instructed to take them whenever he was in a situation where he could meet new alphas and needed to establish dominance. He had taken them in the beginning of high school but his mother threw them out soon after that. She had said that his personality changed when he took them and his father had told him that he was aggressive and irritable. Shiro had gotten new ones for the Garrison.

"That omega who is waiting outside, does he know about your situation?"

"He knows."

"Do you trust him? It would be good if you had someone helping you get through this."

He did trust Keith, but could he burden him with his problems?

"I am fine with Keith knowing, but I don't want to force him into any uncomfortable situation."

Dr. Calvo nodded. "I can go outside and ask if you want."

Did he want that? Keith was already doing so much for him.

A grin flashed over his face when he realized something.If Keith ever found out about this, he would be furious that Shiro hadn’t asked for help. So he agreed and the doctor walked outside.

He waited for a short while before the door opened again and Keith walked in with Dr. Calvo. Keith walked straight towards him and looked at him in concern.

"I'm fine," was all Shiro said. 

Keith only huffed; he might as well have said “yeah right”. He sat down next to Shiro on the bed.

"So what exactly is going on?” Keith asked.

Dr. Calvo sat down by Shiro's desk again and held a pack of pills up.

“These are pretty strong heat suppressors, I guess you know a little about those.” 

Keith nodded.

“Mr. Shirogane's doctor back in Japan prescribed these and gave the wrong instructions so he has been taking them constantly.”

Keith inhaled sharply and looked at Shiro, his eyes full of worry. 

In that moment Shiro realized that he was severely undereducated when it came to his own situation. Keith instantly knew what was going on and Shiro needed a full explanation to even grasp the situation.

“Since you stopped cold turkey, I’m going to prescribe you some medication that will help with the symptoms. I won't be able to prescribe any heat medication to you, I'm afraid. You will have to go through a few cycles for your hormone level to normalize.”

He would have to go into heat? He remembered the few times he went into heat and it hadn't been fun and now he needed to go through that here, at the Garrison where he had pretended to be an alpha all this time? He felt a hand on his shoulder and he met Keith’s eyes. 

“I see you are still reluctant,” the doctor said, observing.

“This was only supposed to be a test run.” He hated how vulnerable he sounded.

“As a doctor I can't look the other way on this matter. You can still disguise yourself, but continuing the way you have will surely be bad for your health.”

Great, so he didn't even have a choice anymore. Keith's hand was rubbing small circles on his back. Maybe it was for the better, he thought to himself in an attempt to feel better.

Dr. Calvo typed something on his tablet again.. 

“I am assuming that you want to be discreet about this?”

Part of Shiro wanted to say “Do you really have to ask?” but instead he nodded.

“Do you have a notepad? I will write down some ways how you will be able to disguise yourself as an alpha. It will only last until your first heat cycle and I can't give you a prognoses when you will have one.”

So he was a ticking time bomb.

Keith was still holding onto him as he too silently watched Dr. Calvo scribble some notes down on the paper.

Dr. Calvo slowly sorted all of the medicine out into two piles. One growing larger and larger, occasionally his face would grimace.

Shiro was starting to wonder what kind of poison he had unknowingly been pouring into his body over the years.

“As of now this is the only thing I can do for you,” the doctor said after he finished sorting out everything. Dr. Calvo handed Shiro the piece of paper. 

“This is a list of things you can do to hide your omega status. On the lower end I wrote down some medications you should avoid for now. You definitely need to visit a doctor that specializes in omega needs to properly assert the situation. I can give you a recommendation, but this is all I can do for now.”

And with that Dr. Calvo packed up and left, taking the large pile of medicine with him. 

Shiro let out a groan. The bed dipped behind him and he felt Keith hug him from behind.

“Everything will work itself out.” Trying to help Shiro calm down Keith nuzzled the back of his neck. It seemed to work since Shiro soon relaxed in his arms.

“I can't go back anymore can I?” Shiro mumbled.

“Do you want to?” Keith asked. The question wasn’t accusing, only gentle.

“I’m scared.” Shiro admitted. Keith tightened his embrace.

“I’ll be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr and twitter as Lucia-ik


	3. Chapter 3

The short semester break had ended and thankfully also great deal Shiro's withdrawal symptoms. He still had them but they were manageable and easy to hide now. Keith was back sleeping in his dorm room - he had told Shiro that  if he wasn’t there his roommate would become suspicious. They both agreed to being discreet about their relationship. As far as anyone in the Garrison was concerned, a mentor and a student was their relationship. The funny thing was that in a way this was true, but it was Keith who was the mentor. Keith teaching him to finally embrace his omega nature. 

 

Nevertheless, for the past few days he had been experimenting with the things on Dr. Calvos list to pass as an Alpha. What both he and Keith had learned was that it wasn’t very effective and he had to refresh multiple times a day. Keith’s only comment was that now he wasn’t slowly destroying his body anymore,something Shiro had to tell himself over and over again. 

 

_ This is good for you.  _

 

_ Don’t hide.  _

 

_ Everything will be fine. _

 

Everytime doubt overcame him he repeated that like a prayer. He doubted himself often. 

 

It was the first day back in school. Being a Private was essentially being a glorified student at the Garrison. It meant further in depth training and more schooling while working for the Garrison as pilots for routine flights. The pay was not great but it was the first step to repay the student debt he had racked up. 

 

Thankfully Shiros parents weren’t exactly poor and he was the golden boy. It ended up earning him a full scholarship. He assumed Keith was in a similar situation. To leave a student with such talent without a scholarship would be a crime. 

 

He got his folder and made his way to the first day of class. Deep space travel. Keith would love this class , he was sure of it. 

He sat in his usual seat and checked his tablet. Keith had left him a message.

 

K: It’s too early for class.

 

He smiled and replied.

 

S: So you say. I have been awake since 5 am.

 

K: Don’t shame the rest of us normal people.

 

S: You definitely do not count as normal, star student.

 

K:…

K: You got me there. How do you wake up so early?

 

S: I’ve always woken up early.

 

“What is with that grin on your face!” 

 

Shiro jumped in his seat and banged his leg against the desk. Hard.

 

“Fuc- Matt! What the- why did you sneak up one me?” Shiro hissed, massaging this poor leg.

 

“Woah, I did not sneak up. So who were you writing with? You wrote with someone and that grin was pretty big.” 

 

“Its none of your business.” 

 

“Oh? Defensive. Don’t tell me you got yourself a girlfriend?!”

 

“I didn’t.”

 

“Boyfriend?”

 

“No.”

 

Matt looked at him suspiciously and sat down next to him. 

 

“Something changed.” Matt was studying his face. Was Matt able to tell? Could he smell his omega scent? Panic crawled underneath Shiro’s skin. 

Would he be outed as an omega on the first day? Would Matt declare it for the world to hear or would he silently pull him aside and ask? He liked Matt and generally trusted him but now he just wanted to get as far away from him as possible. 

 

Matt opened his mouth to ask something but right in that moment Professor Montgomery walked in and demanded their attention.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

Physical training wasn’t any better. Matt kept close to him trying to figure out what had changed about Shiro. No one besides Matt had mentioned anything, but that may have been because Matt was his closest friend here at the Garrison. It made him nervous. Would Matt finally realized what was different about him. He hadn’t contacted Keith yet. There was no need to distract him with a problem he could not solve. 

 

Today's class was self defence. Freshen up those skills after the break, the professor had said. Naturally Matt claimed Shiro as a training partner. This was not a problem. Shiro was good, Matt hardly ever beat him. As long as Matt couldn’t get a limb locking move on him he was fine - he wouldn’t be close enough to smell his omega scent. 

 

In the end, Matt got the upper hand. His right arm was in a tight hold, starched above his head and Matt’s legs wrapped around his upper body, pinning his left arm to his side. Shiro tried to wiggle out of the grip but nothing would give. He heard Matt chuckle next to his ear.

 

“I beat you!”

 

“Yes, 120 to 15 in my favor.”

 

“Oh come on!” For a second Matt was distracted, Shiro did not know what distracted Matt, but he heard his breath hitch. Shiro took that opportunity to wiggle himself free and pin Matt to the ground.

 

“121 to 15.”

 

“Ahhh, okay, okay!” 

 

As soon as Shiro got off of Matt, the professor blew his whistle, signaling that the class was over. 

 

“For someone who doesn’t have a sweetheart you sure do try to cover up the smell of an omega.”

 

Shiro froze. His hands suddenly felt cold and sweaty, his face was hot and he heard how his blood was rushing through his ears. 

 

Matt gave him a firm clap on the back and finger gunned him.

 

“Your secret's safe with me,” he said before walking away.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

“He smelled you?” Keith asked. 

 

It was a quiet evening and they were in the sim room for their extra training, but that was not happening because of Shiro’s focused on his dilemma with Matt.

 

“He thinks I have some secret romance going on.” Shiro was leaning back in his chair, running both of his hands through his hair.

 

“But isn’t that a good thing?” Keith really didn’t seem to think this was a big deal.

 

“Of course it’s not!After a while, he’ll ask who it is and gets offended if I don’t tell him. Then he will snoop around and realize that I really don’t have anyone and he will question the omega scent. He is not stupid, he will piece one and one together!” 

 

“Shiro, I think you may be overreacting.”

 

“What would you do in this situation?” 

 

Keith narrowed his eyes, not liking the tone Shiro used.

 

“I would deal with it when it became a problem. You are stressing yourself out. It’s noot my fault if you’re going to have white hair before you turn 25.”

 

Shiro grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “too late”, but Keith didn’t press on the matter.

 

“Dr. Calvo knows, the Garrison doctor and I know obviously. And you said he is a good friend, would it be that bad if he he knew?”

 

Would it be? Matt was a good friend, but he would not say they were best friends. He had held everyone at arms length so no one would find out about this secret.

 

“Maybe,” Shiro answered.

 

“Do you want to do the simulation?” Keith asked, “Get your mind of things?”

 

He gladly accepted the distraction.

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

The week came and went, and Matt had not said anything more about the omega scent he smelled. In fact he had not talked about the secret romance he believed Shiro was having at all, which made Shiro even more worried that he was up to something. Matt was a pretty mellow alpha but when he was curious he would push relentlessly.

 

Classes were over and he was sitting in his room. Keith was supposed to come over and spent some time with him. In his head he had named them their weekly cuddle sessions. Well he hoped they would be weekly -this was the first week the Garrison was fully staffed and back on track. 

 

He heard a knock and opened the door. Keith was grinning at him. “Hey.”

 

Shiro smiled back and let him pass through the door. “Hey.”

 

Shiro got the bag of blankets out of his closet. These were  _ his  _ blankets. Keith had ordered a bunch of them for him. Trying to figure out how soft they should be, the length and what material would be good for him. Then Keith had shown him a few tricks on how to build a nest. 

 

One of the biggest changes he had noticed in himself was the desire to just lay in a nest and be. He wasn’t sure if that was just his body trying to make up lost time or if that was normal omega behavior that had been suppressed by the medication. Shiro built the nest for them under Keith's watchful gaze. 

 

“You are getting better,” Keith observed.

 

The tips of Shiro's ears felt hot. He was getting good at typical omega things. He was making progress!

 

“Thanks. Do-Do you mind if we maybe just lay in the nest with undershirts?” Over the break Keith and Shiro had often just layed in bed and enjoyed each others company, simply feeling the closeness. But now Shiro wanted to see how it felt with less barriers around him. Keith smiled and nodded. 

 

Keith took his jacket and shirt off and Shiro only his shirt. Keith sat down in the nest first and Shiro rearranged the nest around Keith before slipping in himself. Keith was tucked underneath Shiro's chin and they were lazily embracing each other. 

 

Peace. 

 

This was so peaceful. 

 

Not in the sense of falling asleep peaceful, but in the kind where he could just be and exist. The kind of peaceful that would just relax him and take the stress out of his body. 

 

“I never asked. How do you like the blankets?”

 

“They are perfect. Thank you, I would have never figured this out on my own.”

 

“Of course. But if you see a blanket you like, don’t hesitate to add it. It took me a few years to find all the right blankets for my nest.”

 

“I have been meaning to ask why you have towels in your nest.” He had been very confused when Keith had let him build a nest one day with his blankets.

 

“Oh, I use those when I am sick. I don’t get sick often but when I do, I get really sick. They are soft enough that I can use them. I’d rather barff on those than on my blankets.”

 

“Oh, that makes sense.”

 

Keith hummed. “It’s good to have selection, sometimes you’ll just want something different. I’m glad that you like the blankets I picked for you.”

 

He was like a child in some regards. An overgrown child. An omega that was only now learning how to properly build a nest. An omega that was only now realizing the damage he had done to his body. An omega that simply did not know.

 

Shiro snuggled into Keith's chest, switching their position from earlier. He let himself be held. He was actually feeling content and happy, something he did not experience much of as of late. Mornings had become harder and the temptation to just turn his alarm off and go back to sleep was strong.

 

After their snuggling session had ended they got Shiro's tablet and were swiping through his movie library. Shiro's head was resting on Keiths shoulder while the latter was scrolling through the library. 

 

“How about Interstellar?”

 

Shiro wrinkled his nose. “A movie about space travel in the Garrison?”

 

“That is a no.” Keith scrolled further down. 

 

“We could watch that old time anime?” Shiro pointed at the screen. That old time anime was a magical girl one and Keith only raised his brow.

 

“Really? A magical girl anime?” 

 

“It’s listed as a must-watch classic and it’s by Gen Urobuchi. He did some dark stuff back in his day.”

 

Magical girls and dark did not mix as far as Keith knew. Curious now, he selected the show and they started to watch it.

 

Six episodes in and Keith could positively say that this magical girl anime was dark and nothing what he had expected. 

 

“Okay, if this guy can make a magical girl anime dark I want to see what else he worked on,” Keith said. He handed the tablet over to Shiro who put it on his night table.

 

“He did a lot of shows, most are really well written. There is a cyberpunk anime that you might like.”

 

“Old time cyberpunk? Those never age well.”

 

“No that one did.”

 

“Then we can watch that one next. But I really have to get to my room now. I don’t want to have my head bitten off by a patrol officer.”

 

“Too soon!”

 

Keith just laughed and got up from Shiro's bed and threw his jacket over and then walked towards the door.

 

“Good night, Shiro.”

 

“Good night.”

 

And with a switch of the door he was alone in his room again.

 

Shiro fell onto his bed. Today had not been exhausting, but he was tired nevertheless. For a brief moment he wondered if he could allow himself to sleep in his uniform pants. He shouldn’t, he knew it but  didn’t care. 

Shiro looked at his clock again. Curfew had begun. He forced himself up and put his pajamas on. Even if he did not care, he should at last try to be responsible. 

 

He snuggled back into his nest. It was one of the better nights of rest he got.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

“You and Keith.” Matt said.

 

“What?” Shire was utterly confused about what Matt was trying to say.

 

“Keith is your sweetheart. Your secret romance.”

 

Shiro had absolutely no idea what Matt was saying. Him and Keith? How did he get that idea?!

 

“No, he is not.”

 

“Oh bullshit! I saw you let him in yesterday evening and when I wanted to ask you something close to curfew I saw him leave and his jacket was unbuttoned. I must honestly say. I thought you were a strict by the rules kind of alpha. No romance at the workplace. That kind of jazz.”

 

Shiros mouth hung open. What was he supposed to say? Should he lie and go along with Matt’s assumption? It wouldn’t be fair to Keith. In that moment he remembered what Keith had said: maybe it is not a bad idea to let more people know. Coming out would definitely clear this misunderstanding up. And Matt had been discreet about his assumption. He did not just blurt out his suspicion of him and Keith having a secret romance out in the open. He waited and asked in their private little corner of the library where they studied together. 

 

“We are not together.” He could not drag Keith into a lie he did not agree to be part of, his conscience would not allow that. 

 

“Oh come one! I caught you red-handed and you are denying it!”

 

Shiro did not know what to say. Matt had made up his mind, the only way to change it would be to tell him the truth. 

 

He didn’t say anything,he was too scared. He chose to go back to studying and hoped that the conversation would go away. Soon after Matt did leave, the tension growing between them.  But he did not want to loose Matt as a friend over this. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

Training with Keith had ended, but it was less training and more Keith complaining about classmates that he wanted to punch in the face. Shiro only wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep for a thousand years. 

His constant bad moods and the incident from this morning with Matt just made him want to disappear for a while. Keith's extra training ended without getting much done. He walked around the corner that led to his dorm room and he saw Matt waiting in front of it.

 

“Hey.” Matt looked unsure, hesitant even.

 

“Hey.”

 

They stood there in front of his door. Matt looking like he was searching for the right words for something but distracted by the people  walking past them.

 

“Do you want to say whatever’s on your mind inside?” Shiro pointed to his dorm room.

 

“If you don't mind.”

 

Shiro opened the door and they walked inside. Shiro put his bag down and took his boots off. Matt still looked uncertain and on edge.

 

“Look,” Matt started after he felt like he got Shiro's attention, “what happened at the library today; I’m sorry. I won’t say anything about you and Keith if that makes you feel uncomfortable. I get not wanting people to know about your love life. But I just wanted to say that I am your friend and you can trust me with these sort of things and you don’t have to to block me out.” 

 

Shiro did not know what to say. This was totally unexpected. The silence seemed to make Matt even more nervous - he was playing with his fingers.

 

“I’m not mad,” Shiro said. That alone made Matt beam. His shoulders, that had slouched before, lifted themselves back up to a self assured stance, his entire face just lighting up at hearing Shiro’s words.

 

Now Shiro had to face a decision. The first time he had come out he found a friend, a friend for life perhaps. The second time he found a supportive and concerned doctor. Would it be the same for him for a third time? Matt had proven to him that he was a friend to be trusted and he had never heard Matt speak bad of omegas in general. The individual omega that deserved his scorn yes, but he never generalized. 

 

Don’t they say that all good things come in three?

 

“Keith and I aren't together, we are only friends.” 

 

Matt looked confused. He must have thought Shiro had admitted to dating Keith.

 

“I—” Matt started but Shiro made a move to stop him. 

 

He took a deep breath. Would it ever be easier to simply say, I am an omega? He hoped so. But right now he just needed to take a deep breath and fight though his doubt, his fear and insecurity.

 

“Matt. I’m not an alpha. I am an omega.”

 

He waited.

 

And watched.

 

And he feared.

 

Matt’s face contorted into a look of confusion. His mouth opened once but no words were coming out. He shook his head as if to get his thoughts in order. 

 

“Is this a joke?” Matt asked. He looked unsure and, if Shiro had to guess, even concerned. 

 

“No. Keith and I are just supporting each other, that's why you saw him leave that late.”

 

Matt covered his mouth and mumbled something underneath it. He looked back at Shiro and his hand fell back to his side. “You pretended to be an alpha this entire time? Why?” Now concern was clearly written all over his face.

 

Matt did not think of less of him for being an omega. A weight was lifted off from Shiro’s shoulders that he did not know he was carrying. 

 

He told Matt the same story he told Keith that night. Matt listened and not once did Shiro feel like trusting Matt was a bad decision. 

 

“That is fucked up,” Matt  said at the end of Shiro’s explanation.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Keith has been helping you this entire time? I need to thank him.”

 

“I don’t think you need to thank him. He would be doing this either way.”

 

“No, I need to thank him. You are my best buddy here at the Garrison and he is helping you. Of course I need to thank him!”

 

“Just let me warn him, ok? He may attack you for knowing that I am an omega. He is protective like that.”

 

Matt raised an eyebrow. “Like an alpha?”

 

Shire paused for a second. “Yeah, I guess like an alpha.”

 

“Then please do that. I don’t want a bloody nose. And don’t hesitate to ask for anything! I’m not an expert in omega things but if you need something, just ask!”

 

Shiro smiled. “I will.”

 

They talked some more about Shiro and his situation, Matt already making a list of what to do with people that may have a problem with Shiro. Names did not need to be said. They talked till curfew and then Matt had to leave.

 

Shiro got ready for bed. There was  a smile on his face as his head hit the pillow. All good things came in three.

 

So what would that mean for the fourth?

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is in the works already, if life doesn't kick me it should be out soon~  
> Find me on tumblr and Twitter under Lucia-ik


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there~ First of all I would like to apologize for not answering the comments last chapter. For some reason I didn't get any notifications and only realized a week ago, by then the chapter was almost done. I have read your comments and really appreciate that you guys write them! 
> 
> On to the chapter

Shiro lifted Keith’s chin. Slowly he inspected the swollen skin around Keith's eye. 

 

“So what happened again?” Shiro asked.

 

“Difference of opinions.”

 

“Those differing opinions also punched you in the face?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Shiro didn’t say anything and merely took the ice pack and wrapped it in a towel before handing it over to Keith.

 

After the fight Keith had gotten himself into, Iverson had called Shiro to his office.  He hoped that in addition for the flight training, Shiro could help with Keith's bold personality . Iverson also hinted at the fact that Keith had had a few incidents of violent outburst; he had called them alpha-like. 

 

It became very clear to Shiro early on that Keith was not the typical omega. No one in the Garrison was typical for that matter, but Keith was even more of a devant. 

 

“Did you at least get a good punch in?” Shiro asked. 

 

Keith grumbled something. Shiro only looked at Keith, waiting for him to elaborate. “Not good enough.” Shiro sighed and embraced him. Keith snuggled the side of his face that was not beat up into Shiro's chest and Shiro let himself fall backwards on the bed they were sitting on. 

Keith was laying on top of him and sulked in silence. Shiro wasn’t sure how he was supposed to help Keith, when he himself was so lost. He hadn’t told Keith, but it was getting harder and harder for him to wake up each  morning. 

He just laid there with Keith and held him till they both fell asleep. 

 

They didn’t sleep for long. Shiro felt Keith moving in his arms to get up. He cracked an eye open and saw him walk into the bathroom. Shiro repositioned himself and got comfortable again. He knew he should get up and check on Keith but he didn’t have the energy to do so.

 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and cracked an eye open. Keith was hovering over him.

 

“Thanks. I calmed down a lot. I’m going back to my room now.”

 

Shiro hummed, understanding, and felt Keith's hand leave his shoulder. He heard the door swish open and shut. Shiro was alone.

  
  
  


Shiro woke up the next morning and the first thing that bothered him was how bright it was in his room. 

 

It was never this bright when he woke up.

 

He turned his head and froze when he saw the time. 8 o’clock. Usually he got up at 5 o’clock. 

 

Had his alarm not rang? Vaguely he remembered the alarm going off. Had he shut it off and gone back to sleep? That was unlike him. He was very discipline to wake up early and do his exercises. He still had his uniform on from yesterday. It would be fine, even if it was wrinkled. 

 

He grabbed his bag and dashed out of his room. He needed to get to his morning class and pray that nobody would ask questions. 

 

He wasn't quite running but he was definitely walking in a fast pace. He walked around a corner but stopped dead in his track. Three cadets were standing in the hallway, two were cornering one cadet. That cadet was Keith. Shiro walked over but before he could say anything, one of the cadets spoke.

 

“You need to cut it out. It was cool that you beat Azu up but you get in everyone's face as soon as you get rubbed the wrong way.”

 

He slowed down. Was this what Iverson had been talking about?

 

“Then just stay clear of me if you don’t like me,” Keith answered.

 

He heard the other cadet sigh. “Keith you are a good person. We like you but that attitude will get you isolated.”

 

None of them had noticed Shiro yet and he was unsure if he should announce his presence. 

 

“I don't understand how this is your problem,” Keith said and tried to walk away from the situation. He stopped when he saw Shiro. The other two cadets turned around and their eyes fell on to Shiro as well.

 

“Everything ok?” he asked. 

 

Keith was frozen in place and the other two cadets looked confused for a second.

 

“Everything is fine,” they said and the two cadets walked away. Keith was still unmoving. 

 

Now Shiro was confused. Did Keith really not want Shiro to know about his problems? His question was answered when he heard an echo drift down the hallway.

 

“I thought that Private Shirogane was an Alpha.”

 

He had not sprayed the perfume on! He clasped his hand over one of his glands. 

 

Keith grabbed his hand and dragged him back to his room. Shiros head was buzzing, he could have been exposed! He is not ready reveal himself yet! Scenarios of what could go wrong flashed through his mind as Keith dragged him along the hallways. His mind conjured scenarios of rejection and exclusion. For a brief moment, he imagined getting kicked out of the piloting program. Logically he knew it was not possible but what if? What if it did happen? He only snapped out of his panic when Keith pulled him into his dorm room.

 

“Why did you walk out without the perfume on?” He looked concerned.

 

“I overslept.”

 

“You overslept?” Keith seemed skeptical.

 

“Yes. But what were those two talking about?”

 

Keith tensed up. “Nothing,” he growled out. Whatever the problem was, Keith didn’t want to share it with Shiro. 

 

It hurt a little, Keith not sharing his worries with him. He was, after all, relying on Keith; it would only be fair if he did the same to him. 

 

Keith walked to the bathroom and brought the perfume. Shiro unbuttoned his collar and Keith sprayed once.

 

“You sure you don’t want to tell me anything?”

 

“It’s not your problem.” 

 

“Keith…”

 

“We both need to get to our classes.”

 

They went their separate ways. Shiro, for the first time in his life, was phnominaly late to something and people treated it as the world’s 8 th wonder.

 

“You ok?” Matt whispered, to him once Shiro had sat down at his desk.

 

“Yeah, just overslept.”

 

“It that even possible? I was so sure you had a anti-oversleep gene in you. I wanted to research your genome to further humanity.”

 

“Very funny.”

 

He tried to listen to the rest of his class. Usually he had no issue following, but today his concentration was slipping. He was having an off-day. The professor dismissed the class and Matt didn’t waste a single second.

 

“So I heard some things about Keith.”

 

Shiro sighed. People said omegas and beta did nothing but gossip, but alpha succumbed to the urge just as much.

 

“And what did you hear?”

 

“He got into a fight with an Alpha and it got messy.”

 

“You heard right.”

 

“Aren't you going to add anything to it?”

 

“No. Keith knows he overreacted.”

 

“Hm. You still have to introduce us to each other you know.”

 

Shiro looked over at Matt as if he could not believe that the alpha had dropped the topic like that.

 

“Don’t give me that look. I actually want to get to know the guy.”

 

“And yet you still asked.“

 

“There is only so much self-control I can practice.”

 

“You can join our next training session. I’ll introduce you then.”

 

“Deal.”

  
  
  
  


Hours passed. Lunch was okay. Even though it was one of the meals he usually enjoyed it still tasted bland.

 

This day could not end soon enough. 

 

And to top it all off, he walked past Azu. The man sneered at him when walked past him and then laughed at the sight of the impeccable Shirogane walking around in a wrinkled uniform. 

 

He was too tired to deal with this. 

 

The last of his classes where done and he made his way straight to his room. He threw his jacket off, kicked his boots off and just fell on his bed.

 

His phone vibrated. It was a message from Keith. 

 

K: I’m sorry. Can we talk? 

 

S: Sure.

 

K: I’ll be over in a few

  
  


Shiro got up and dressed in something more comfortable; sweatpants and a loose t-shirt.

 

He was sitting on his bed when he heard the knock on his door.

 

“Come in.” The door swished open and Keith did as told.

 

He looked a little unsure and was playing with his hands. 

 

“You don’t have to stand there, you know?”

 

“I know. But this is kinda difficult for me.”

 

Shiro nodded and waited. A few minutes passed in silence before Keith took a deep breath.

 

“I’m sorry about this morning.”

 

“There is no need to apologize.”

 

Keith seemed relieved. “I heard that Iverson told you to help me so I felt the need.”

 

Shiro shook his head and got up from the bed. “Like I said, there is no need. But you can talk to me, I would like to help you either way.”

 

Keith smiled, but it did not reach his eyes.

 

“Thank you but I doubt you could help. I’ve been dealing with this for a long time.”

 

“Your outbursts?” 

 

“Yeah… the orphanage dragged me to every possible psychiatrist but none could help. I tried everything from self-analyzing to breathing practice.“

 

Keith had grown up in an orphanage? Keith was an orphan? 

 

This was not the main concern right now so Shiro decided to ask later when it was appropriate.

 

“Not even the gym helps?” Shiro asked.

 

“Gym?” 

 

Shiro was taken aback. Surely the psychiatrist would have tried that with Keith. 

 

“I go to the gym if that is what you mean?” Keith eyebrows were raised in confusion.

 

He didn’t know. Shiro was shocked.

 

“Come with me.” He grabbed his uniform-jacket and put his boots on.

 

“It’s almost curfew, I can’t stay out for too long.”

 

“Don’t worry I will vouch for you. Now come.” He nodded his head towards the door and Keith followed him out.

  
  
  
  
  


“Where are we?” Keith asked. He had never seen this gym before. 

 

“This is a separate aggression gym.”

 

“Aggression gym?”

 

“Yeah, alphas use it quite often. This whole room is designed to get out any kind of anger or aggression that may have built up. Most of the time it’s two alphas sparing in here but there are also dummies you can beat up if no one is around.”

 

“And you are showing me this because…?” Keith looked around. He didn’t want to admit it but he was itching to throw a punch. 

 

Shiro took his shoes and jacket off and walked on the matted floor. He opened up a door on the other side of the room and pulled out protection gear. 

 

What was Shiro doing?

 

“Well there is a lot of alpha in you.” He put the gear on, arm cushions, breast plate and a helmet.

 

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Oh c’mon Shiro, I am not going to throw punches at you.”

 

“I have a feeling you will.” Shiro smirked and changed his position into defensive one. 

 

“Okay, I may be a little aggressive for an omega but that doesn’t mean I am that aggressive! This is a room designed to deal with alpha rage.”

 

“But it’s not. This is an aggression room for anyone who needs it. Alpha, beta and omegas. Alphas just make the most use of it.”

 

Keith still looked skeptically at Shiro. He wanted to throw punches to get this energy out of him. He usually did it by training at the gym; exhaust himself to the point where he would fall of the treadmill. But lately that had not been enough. As soon as the endorphin high was gone, the same aggressive urge game back. Keith hated it. He had always been like this and he did not know why. 

 

Keith took his shoes and jacket off and joined Shiro on the matted floor. 

 

Shiro smiled triumphantly.

 

“I’ll humor you.” but Keith was sure this would not work. He got a pair of gloves out of the same storage room as Shiro. 

 

“Do I have to wear protection gear too?”

 

“No, you are the aggressor.”

 

Keith raised an eyebrow and then walked over to Shiro. He positioned himself in front of Shiro and got into a fighting pose.

 

“Before we start, you need to know the etiquette.”

 

“Etiquette?” What kind of etiquette could there be? This was just mindless punching invented by alphas. It was raw and primitive, there was nothing refined about it.

 

“This is not some mindless punching that you are doing.” A blush crept up Keith's face.

“You start of with punches and only punches. Aim only towards the safety gear except the head. If you want to do more then punching you need to pause and tell your partner that you want to get rougher. If your partner has enough and yells stop, you stop, got it?”

 

Keith nodded. 

 

“Also actual fighting needs to be supervised by a third person that can break it up should it go too far. So we definitely won’t do that.”

 

Well, maybe this was a bit more civilised than he thought. 

 

Both of them got back into position and Keith threw two practice punches. Shiro nudged him to continue. 

 

He continued to beat against the protection gear. Shiro endured it all. Steadily, Keith’s punches became fiercer, stronger and merciless. It was like he was entering a trance. 

 

“Stop!” Shiro yelled.

 

Keith crashed back into reality. “Sorry— I” 

 

Shiro shook his head.

 

“Don’t worry. I just need more protection gear if you are throwing kicks.”

 

He what…?!

 

Shiro laughed. “You were so in the zone you didn’t even notice.”

 

“No — I am so sorry. Shiro I—”

 

“Don’t worry about it. The whole point is to make sure no lasting damage is done. I blocked your kick, and you were really going at it so I figured you have a lot to unload.”

 

Keith was still breathing heavily; his arms started to ache but it was so worth it. 

 

Shiro walked to the storage room and got back with protection gear on his legs and upper arms. It almost looked like a bad police riot cosplay.

 

Shiro got back into a defensive mode and Keith jumped at the opportunity to vent some more. 

 

He had tried it once before. Letting his aggression out like this but it had done nothing to him. A limp boxing sack was not the same as a partner who you could pour all your aggression onto. 

 

His punches and kicks slowed down and finally stopped. He let himself fall backwards on the floor. 

 

Hsi limbs stretched away from him, his painting the only sound in the room. 

 

“Got it out of your system?”

 

Keith started to laugh. This was the first time in a long while he felt so weightless.. His arms and legs burned, but in a good way. It was freeing; like a metal blanket had been lifted off him.

 

“I take that as a yes.”

 

He heard how the protection gear fell on the floor. Shiro laid down next to Keith on the floor, on his side with his elbow on the floor and his head resting against his hand as he watched Keith come down from his endorphin high. 

 

“Why was that so cathartic? I have tried a boxing bag and exercise but it never helped much.”

 

“Not sure. It’s supposedly something psychological.” Keith hummend and rolled over to Shiro and curled up against him. Their legs intertwined and Shiro's free hand fell over Keith's side. His hand traced patterns on Keiths back while Keith nuzzled into Shiro's chest, trying to bury himself even deeper into the embrace.

 

“The only thing that would make this even better is curling up in a nest with you right after.”

 

“Maybe we can bring some blankets next time.” Shrio mused.

 

Keith hummed a smile going from ear to ear. 

 

They laid there in silence, bathing in each others presence. The automatic  lights turned off and the only thing illuminating them was the moon light spilling in through the small windows. 

 

Peace.

 

Before Shiro knew it, he was shaken awake by Keith.

 

“What?”

 

“You fell asleep.” Keith said. He had his jacket on, ready to leave. 

 

Shiro let his head rest back on the floor. He wanted to continue to sleep. He was always so tired as of late. 

 

“Come on get up.”

 

“Five more minutes.”

 

“You sound like a child that needs to get up for school.” Keith laughed. He let Shiro's jacket fall over him. 

 

Shiro still didn’t move.

 

“Shiro,” the playful tone in Keith's voice wavering.  

 

Shiro lifted the jacket and smiled at Keith. It didn’t look genuine.

 

“Let get back to our dorms.”

 

“Are you okay?” Keith asked.

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“No it’s just— you seem like you have been tired a lot lately,” Keith said.

 

“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just not getting decent sleep, maybe my mattress is getting old?”

 

Keith had laid on Shiro's mattress and as far as he could tell, there was nothing wrong with it but he let it slide. This evening was good and he would not ruin it by prying.

 

They walked outside of the gym and made their way back to their dorms. 

 

Keith had the best night’s rest in a long time.

 

Shiro did not. Now he was plagued by nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this Keith heavy chapter. Tell me what you think in the comments.  
> I'm also curious what you guys think Shiro will encounter further down the line. (Someone is going to be a little hot soon.) 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr & twitter as: Lucia-ik


	5. Chapter 5

Shiro was staring at his blank monitor. He was so tired. Before he simply had slept bad, now he was plagued by nightmares. He didn’t remember what happened in them — the only thing he knew was that he woke up with his heart is pounding.

 

“Private Shirogane!” someone yelled.

 

Shiro snapped out of his trance and directed his attention to the person who called his name. Officer Balakrishnan stood at the entrance of the office. He stood up from his desk and Balkrishnan looked over to him.

 

He walked over to Shiro. “You have been requested for a cargo mission to the moon station.” he gave him a folder.

 

“Thank you, sir.”

 

Officer Balakrishnan nodded before walking out of the office.

 

Every two weeks a cargo shuttle flies to the moon station. It was the pride of Nasa and the Garrison. A fully functional hub on the moon's surface that was fully manned and had people living up there 365 days of the year. The flight to the Moon would take about a day, after that he would need to stay in the moon station for about three days. The shuttle needed to be looked over to make sure that nothing had been damaged. Some complained about the long down-time, Shiro thought it was better to wait for three days than to float dead in space. After that he would take other cargo down, sometimes even people.

 

He opened the folder and read through the reports. Simple cargo run. He was supposed to take Matt’s father, Sam Holt, to the moon station and the usual cargo. The week he was supposed to fly was unsurprisingly a week in which he had no classes. Shiro still needed to find out who came up with the dual school system and kiss them — after Shiro graduated as a cadet, the Garrison had a limited number of positions open for the dual system which meant that the Garrison paid him to continue going to school. They only accepted a hand full of pilots, engineers and scientists. Through that program his student debt was automatically reduced and he was already paying back, while still having money left over to save. It was truly the sweetest of deals.

 

This would be his third mission to the moon. He graduated only a few months ago. The frequent flights there were a bit of an unusual case.

He hadn’t gone in heat yet…

 

Dr. Calvo had warned him that his body would need a while to recover from all the medication and that there was no telling when he’d go into heat.

He debated with himself. He could call his parents and ask them to send him heat-suppressants. He knew neither Keith, Matt nor Dr. Calvo would support him in his decision but there was no plausible reason for him to no participate on this cargo mission without outing himself. Well he could fake a flu — maybe Matt had an actual virus in his lab that Shiro could inject, making the plan fool-proof.

 

Keith would kill him if he ever found out.

 

He knew these thoughts weren't normal. Who in their right mind would fantasize about injecting a flu virus just to avoid coming out?

 

He needed to finally come out to the Garrison but he was terrified of the outcome. The first thing they would do was to take his flight rights away. He’d be put on a wait-list that he might never get off from. He just couldn't risk it. He had worked too hard for this. He wouldn't let his omega status get in the way of his dreams. He would not let it get in the way.

 

He needed to calm down. Whatever he was going though it would pass. He’d go on the cargo mission and sort everything out. Everything will be fine.

 

Even while he was trying to convince himself, it all sounded fake to him.

  
  
  
  
  
  


He walked over to Iverson office. He was officially in charge of all cadets and the dual students business. He needed to check in with him to make sure that he received the mission and that everything was clear.

 

“Private Shirogane, I see you received the assignment. Any questions?”

 

“About the mission? No. I was just curious why I have received so many of them.“

 

“Ah, yes. The mission was originally assigned to a cadet in her last year. We resigned it to you.”

 

“May I ask why she could not go on the mission?”

 

Iverson did not even look up from the paper he was marking. “We can’t send her because of her heat.”

 

Shiros stomach dropped. His mouth suddenly tasted sour and his hand began to sweat. He had gotten an extra mission because of another omega’s heat!

 

He nodded and walked out of the office. He did not notice the questioning look Iverson gave him.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Oh god,  _Oh god!_

 

He was getting more missions because they were taken from other omegas. What would happen to him when he went into heat?! Would he lose all opportunities to go to space? He needed to talk to Keith,  _right now!_

 

He got his phone out and hoped that Keith had a free period. A text message came back and of course Shiro was not so lucky, Keith was in class. Matt was in the lab currently which meant Shiro could not disturb him either.

 

He was alone.

 

He couldn’t go to his dorm room, he was supposed to go back to his desk and finish some paperwork — If he could concentrate. He had had a hard time before and now he definitely wouldn’t be able to concentrate. The mission folder was laying on the other end of the desk, taunting him.

 

He got an extra mission because they took it from an omega —the very thing he feared was becoming reality. Would the same thing happened to him?     
  
His phone vibrated — Keith had texted him. He was free now.

 

Without a moment's hesitation he got up and took the mission folder with him.

 

They met up in a common room by the simulators. Keith had his tablet out, seemingly doing some assignment.

 

He smiled when he saw Shiro approach.

 

“Hey. What did you want to talk about?”

 

“I just wanted to know how you deal with your heats?”

 

Keith blushed. “Are you asking me what I do during my heats?!”

 

Shiro was blushing too. That was not what he was asking! “N-no! Just how do you deal with school?”

 

“Oh. I take off. Simple as that.”  

 

“You take off?”

 

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

 

He showed the mission folder. Keith's eyes lit up.

 

“You are going to space!” He snatched the folder from Shiro's hand and began to read the details.

 

“Yeah. I’m just worried about— you know...” Shiro said. He would not tell Keith how he got the mission. Not after seeing how Keith’s face lit up at the idea of going to space.

 

“Oh. Yeah, that is a problem.” Keith leaned back in his chair. “Did you go to the Garrison’s doctor already? Maybe she can help?”

 

Shiro hadn’t. He had given Dr. Calvo permission to give her all of his information about his condition and despite the fact that he really did not want to go to her, he knew he should. He had already played with the idea of getting suppressants, maybe she could prescribe him some for the sake of the mission. If he had the doctor’s permission to take take suppressants again, Keith would probably understand.

 

“It’s worth a visit, I guess”

 

“You don't look thrilled.”

 

Shiro surged. “It’s still uncomfortable.”

 

“Do you want me to go with you?”

 

Shiro nodded. He was like a child, like he needed Keith to hold his hand to go to the doctor.

 

“Uh, do you mind if we go now? To get it over with?” Shiro asked. Keith answered by packing all of his stuff, ready to go.

  
  
  
  
  


Dr. Smith was a tall blond beta woman that looked like she belonged on the catwalk and not in the medical office of the Garrison.

 

“How may I help you?” she asked.

 

Shiro stepped forward. “My name is Takashi Shirogane and I-”

 

“Oh, you are Private Shirogane? The one Dr. Calvo informed me of?”

 

Shiro nodded.

 

She leaned back in her chair a bit and looked at Keith. “And you are here for support?”

 

Keith nodded too.

 

“It’s good that you have someone helping you through this. So, what is wrong?”   
  
Shiro was a bit overwhelmed with her casual and light attitude.

 

“I have a cargo mission soon and well, I haven't gone into heat yet. So I was wondering if I could do something about that.”

 

The light and airy mood was gone. A frown spread over her face as she looked at Shiro.

 

“Private Shirogane, I have seen your medical file and I cannot prescribe you any suppressants in your current state. As Dr. Calvo explained your body needs to go through a few heats before the idea of suppressants can be considered again. And even if I wanted to prescribe you any, we are on backorder. Currently no one in the Garrison is able to get suppressants. The best course of action would be to tell your supervisor that you can't go on the mission.”

 

_No! Nononono!_ He could not do that! That is how  _he_ got the mission in the first place. An omega replaced by an alpha.

 

He didn’t show his inner turmoil, only nodding in understanding.

 

“Are there any other concerns?” she asked. “Is your appetite alright? Have you been getting a good night's rest?”

 

Shiro s smiled and said yes. He lied right through his teeth. Even when she asked further quetions he continued to lie.   
  
  
In few minutes she was done and Shiro and Keith walked out.

 

 

 

 

“You lied.” Keith said as they were few hallways away from the medical office.   
  
Shiro turned around.

 

“I’m fine Keith.”

 

“But you are not fine! You are late to class every day and you hardly eat anymore!”

 

Oh. He had hoped that he hid it well enough from Keith. “It's nothing you can help with.”

 

“Of course I can help! I can make sure you get out of bed on time! I can make sure you at least eat something!”

 

“Starting tomorrow I’m going to pick you up for class!” Keith looked at him, his eyes determined.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


And so Keith was knocking on his door the next morning.

 

He hit the remote by his bed and the door swished open for Keith.

 

“Good morning.”

 

“Morning.” he grumbled and rolled in his sheets. He should get up, he shouldn't cause more of a inconvenience to Keith. Shiro threw the blanket off and stood up. The cool air in his room was tickling at his legs as he got ready for the day.   
  
For the first time in weeks he was on time for class.

 

“Shiro!” Matt called out. Their dorm rooms were on the opposite ends of the wing so they usually only met up for breakfast. Cadets had the luxury of sleeping in an hour longer than the rest of the staff so seeing one up so early in the morning was a little surprising.

 

“And you are?” Matt carefully asked Keith as they were getting in line for the breakfast buffet

 

“Keith, this is Matt, and Matt, this is Keith.”

 

“You are Keith! It’s great to finally meet you! Shiro keeps forgetting to tell me when you guys train together.”

 

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” They shook hands and Matt immediately wiped his phone out.

 

“Your number?”

 

Shiro just rolled his eyes. Typical Matt, he knew the person for 0.1 second and was already asking for his number.

 

Keith got his phone out and exchanged numbers with Matt. “And it's good to see you back on time.” He bumped his fist against Shiro’s arm.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Being picked up in the morning worked fine. In the beginning at least.

 

Keith was having a hard time getting Shiro out of bed each day, till finally Keith ended up being late too because of him. And Keith was continuously late.

 

The mission was due to happen next week and he still had not gone into heat. He hadn’t told Iverson about his predicament yet either — Keith and Matt probably assumed he had removed himself from the mission by now.   
  
Shiros phone dinged. He was currently eating lunch alone, waiting for Matt. His lab experiment was taken longer than expected. Shiro thought his phone notified of an update but he got an email from Iverson instead. He read over it and he felt his entire body go cold.

 

It was a warning. Keith had been coming in late to class the past few days and if that did not change soon Iverson would separate the two of them.   
  
This was it — he was dragging Keith down with him. He opened up a browser on his tablet and looked for a online medical companies. He would need to spend his own money on the suppressant pills but that did not matter anymore. Everything was falling apart and this was the solution.

 

When he found a suitable company,  he ordered the suppressant. Two day shipping selected.   
  
Everything would be fine.

 

From the corner of his eye, Shiro saw Matt approach and froze. Matt’s lips were firmly pressed together — he had seen what Shiro had done and he did not like it.

 

“I’m not going to say anything,” Matt told him. “If the doctor allowed it because you have a mission coming up, I’m not going to judge.”

 

Part of him was relieved at what Matt had said while the rest of him was beginning to eat itself in guilt. He was taking advantage of Matt not knowing about his recent doctor visits.

 

But this was for the best. Things could go back to the way they were.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The rest of the day went by uneventfully. The last of his classes were over and he was laying in bed. His room was dark, even though it was a little early for him to already have the lights off but he didn't really care much.

 

A knock came from the other side of his door. “Shiro, open up. It’s me, Keith.”

 

He sat up on the bed and unlocked the door with the remote. When Keith walked in it seemed to take him awhile to pinpoint Shiro in the room, his eyes needing to adjust to the darkness.

 

“Matt told me what you bought today.”

 

Shiro didn’t say anything.

 

“I’m worried,” Keith confessed. “You are always tired and you don’t eat anymore. Shiro, this is not healthy. And now you are going back on suppressants?”

 

Shiro turned his head away. He knew it was unhealthy, he didn’t need Keith to point out the obvious.

 

Keith huffed.“You don’t even care, do you?”

 

What was Shiro supposed to say?  _“You are right I don’t care anymore. Sorry for all your hard work but you know what, I’d rather take meds that destroy my body.”_

 

Keith shook his head. “This isn’t you. Shiro, you just need to get through this, taking suppressants again is not going to solve anything!” his voice was cracking.

 

Everything would be better once he went into heat. The logical part of him knew that this was a depression caused by him surpassing his very nature — he had read up on it after his talk with Dr. Calvo. Heats for omegas where not just a way to attract alpha to breed but it was like a balance for hormones and other chemicals in the body. And he had not balanced his hormones in years. The logical part of him knew all of this.

 

But the logical part of him also had seen omegas, that were brilliant and hardworking in high school, go to third rate colleges because they would become housemates anyway. Because the education would be wasted on them — the spot an omega took up in college would be better used by a beta or alpha.

 

Conclusion: taking suppressants again would deal with his mental health and guarantee him the career he wanted. Would he damage his body beyond repair? He probably already had, so who cared if he damaged it more.

 

“Shiro, please let me help you.” Keith sounded so scared and small. His heart dropped hearing Keith sound so vulnerable and he hated himself knowing that he was the reason why.

 

“Maybe it’s better this way...” he said.   
  
Go back to the status quo. He would pretend to be an alpha and Keith could find another omega to be his support.

 

Shiro was looking at the ground so when Keith grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down he was caught off guard. He was didn’t resist. Keith was holding him down, towering over him. For a brief moment Shiro was mesmerized by how pretty Keith looked with this hair falling forward and framing his face.

 

“I am not leaving you! We agreed to be partners, that means it is my responsibility to help you too! This is not a one way road, Shiro!”

 

Shiro grabbed Keith's shoulder and pulled him over. He planned to switch their positions but his bed was too small so instead Keith was now stuck between the wall and him.

 

“And do you know that I’m bad for you?! You are running after me making sure that I eat, that I don’t forget my appointments and that I get out of bed on time. When I asked Iverson if I could train you he told me he would separate us if you are getting worse. Guess what Keith, you are getting worse! I already got a warning email!”

 

Keith was quiet.

 

“You don’t even notice that I am dragging you down with me,” Shiro finished.

 

He heard Keith take a shaky breath in before saying: “Then let me help. Don’t fight me on this, Shiro. Don't push me or Matt away so we don’t waste energy on just  _trying_ to help.”

 

Shiro didn’t say anything but Keith got the message. He shoved Shiro away and clumsily got out of the bed.

 

Shiro just laid on his back, waiting for Keith to leave. He told himself it was for the best before the door closed completely he heard Keith let out a sob.

 

He made Keith cry.

 

He was the worst.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Keith did not pick him up the next day — Matt did.

 

“I will throw ice-water on your bed, Shiro! Get up!”

 

He had been yelling at Shiro for the past five minutes and Shiro just wished that he would go away.

 

“I’m getting up!” He did, but he instantly wanted to get back under the covers.

 

What was even the point? Tomorrow the suppressants would arrive and everything would go back to normal. Everything would be fine.

 

But he would lose Keith. He knew if he went through with this, he would without a doubt loose Keith. And it made him waver. Keith has been the best thing that had happened to him in a long, long time. Was the easy way out really the solution?

 

He got dressed. He still wore his uniform properly, but that was more a force of habit than actual care — he didn’t care much for his appearance nowadays. He quickly combed his hair with only his fingers.

 

They both walked out and made their way to class. He was surprised to see so many people out in the hallway since for the last few weeks he had been rushing through empty hallways with Keith or Matt in the morning.

 

He checked his watch. They were on time.

 

“How early did you come over?‘ Shiro asked.

 

“20 minutes maybe. I swear, the nice way does not work with you, no wonder Keith had issues getting you out of bed. He would never yell or threaten you, especially with ice water.”

 

He did not want to admit it but—knowing he'd be on time for class, that he could actually be able to do something today, something that may allow him to function normal—made him feel fuzzy inside.

 

They got to class and sat down at their desks. The first thing Shiro did was to unbutton his collar. It was a little warm today — strange, since the room was air-conditioned. He brushed it off, maybe the it was broken?

 

The air between him and Matt was awkward, that was to be expected. After all he had told him what kind of consequences suppressants would have on him. It would pass. Hopefully.

 

The more he thought about it, the more he could see the things that could go wrong. He would return to the old ways and loose Matt and Keith. Then he would only be surrounded by people that did not know him and probably would never care the same way about him as Matt and Keith did. If he ever got sick because of the chemicals he was pouring into his body, he would be all alone.

He would probably never become the space explorer he wanted to be if he came out now as an omega, but he would have friends. True friends that he could rely on.

 

And he had pushed Keith away. Could he save his relationship with him? Apologize on his knees and accept Keith's help. But he already had the suppressants ordered.

 

The professor walked in and started the class. Like the past few weeks, he had trouble concentrating on the lecture. His mind just wandered to blank corners in his mind.

 

It was the only class he had with Matt for today so after that, they went their separate ways. The longer he went about his day the more people turned and looked at him. Especially alphas were looking at him in confusion. Shiro could not tell what they were staring at. Sure he had unbuttoned his jacket but that was only because he was feeling hot.

 

He turned right and he saw Keith at the other end of the corridor. He was heaving as if he had just run a long distance before he walked over to Shiro.

 

“It’s true,” Keith said, breathless.

 

Shiro raised an eyebrow, even Keith was acting weird today. Maybe this was a sign he should apologize for yesterday.  

 

“Keith. I just want to apologize for yesterday and—”

 

“Oh god, you haven’t noticed?”

 

“Noticed what?”

 

“Your heat has started!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can guess ratings may go up next update and I would love to know what you think so please leave a comment :D
> 
> You can find me on twitter and tumblr as Lucia-ik

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of fell in love with this concept and would really like to explore more of this story so tell me if you liked it or if you have any ideas 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as Lucia-ik


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